Post by Vincent Kennedy McMahon on Nov 19, 2013 21:04:43 GMT -6
"Uncut, Uncensored, & Uncooked!"
Live! From The Manhatten Center in New York, New York!
11/25/93
The scene opens up in the jam packed Manhattan Center! The camera pans throughout the crowd, many fans screaming and displaying signs. As the camera pans back around, it finds Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan sitting ringside.
Gorilla Monsoon: Welcome everyone to Monday Night Raw! It feels good to be back Brain, even if it means seeing you again, and boy do we have a show for you.
Bobby Heenan: I resent that Gorilla. I mean, which one of us is named after an animal known to have bad body odor?
Gorilla Monsoon: Easy Brain. It's not hard to figure out that a gorilla beats a weasel every time.
Bobby Heenan: Weasel eh? I don't know what you're talking about monkey brains. Now back to Monday Night Raw. I think tonight's show will be a great way to get things going again and I'm actually very excited to see it, even if I have to do it sitting next to you.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, it certainly should be a great one, we have a new superstars making his WWF debut, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. We'll also see returning superstars in action tonight, such as "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, "The Bad Guy" Razor Ramon, and the mighty Yokozuna, and what a main event we have tonight. A pay-per-view caliber match-up indeed, as Bret "The Hitman" Hart will take on The Undertaker! But first, let's take a look at exactly how the World Wrestling Federation and Titan Sports managed to get out of bankruptcy and once again bring the greatest wrestling show in the world back into your homes and onto your televisions. Let's flash back to that faithful press conference exactly 2 weeks ago!
The camera fades to black and a video starts to play.
November 11, 1993
The cameras are rolling. We pan over a large crowd of reporters, producers, and hundreds of other people from media outlets all over the world. Cameras are set up all over the room, pointing at the wooden podium that is set up in the middle of the stage with a World Wrestling Federation logo on it. To the left of the stage are two familiar faces in Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. We switch to a shot of Gorilla and Heenan.
Gorilla Monsoon: Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to this special press conference.
Bobby Heenan: It's about time we got our jobs back, Gorilla!
Gorilla Monsoon: Tonight we find out the future of the World Wrestling Federation.
As Gorilla finishes speaking, we see something going on. Vince McMahon, owner of the World Wrestling Federation walks out onto the stage, fixing his tie. He stands behind the podium, ready to address the hundreds of members of the media and fans that fill the room.
Gorilla Monsoon: Here he is folks. Vince McMahon.
Bobby Heenan: I wonder what he's got to say, Gorilla. Are we going to get the ball rolling again?
The camera looks on at McMahon, as he is about to speak. The reporters, all sitting in front of the podium, get their recording devices ready to get what is surely to be one of the biggest news stories of the year. The rest of the audience, made up of stockholders and fans, begin to boo and scream out obscenities at the sight of Vince.
Vince McMahon: Now now, please ladies and gentlemen, allow me to speak. I SAID SHUT UP DAMN IT!
The audience again boos Vince, but he stands in silence until the noise dies down.
Vince McMahon: Now then. Firstly, I would like to apologize to the wrestlers of the World Wrestling Federation, to the many employees here, to the fans, and most importantly, to the stockholders of Titan Sports Inc. I am here to personally tell each and every one of you that the ship is not sinking, and as a matter of fact, things are looking brighter than ever.
Some murmuring goes on in the audience, among both the press and the public
Vince McMahon: That no good, poor excuse for a human being, Jack Tunney drove this company to bankruptcy, and has been "eradicated." You should all find solace in knowing that I, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, once again have control of the reigns of the World Wrestling Federation! Now, I know it's been a long three months since we went off the air, and everybody is dying to get back into the swing of things, but before we can do that, I'd like to tell you all about how this happened. You see, as rich and powerful as I am, a lot of my money is tied up in Titan Sports Inc, and well, as you all know, doesn't really help when the company is in bankruptcy. I needed liquidity and I needed it fast. Things seemed meek until I got that faithful phone call. Suddenly all of my problems were solved. Here was a guy with more money than God, who not only was willing to help me get my company back on its feet, but was also just the type of person I could trust to be my right hand man and help me make sure that this never happens again! So, without further adieu, I introduce to you the NEW President of the World Wrestling Federation!
The crowd is silent as all heads, cameras, and audio devices turn towards the curtain to the side of the stage. Everyone eagerly awaits to find out who has saved the company and will be the new President of the WWF.
A deep laugh bellows through the room, as the flashes go off all over the place. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase walks through the curtain, dressed up in the finest of suits. With a smug look across his face, he walks out onto the stage, waving to the hundreds of people that look on in shock.
Gorilla Monsoon: My God! He's bought his way into the Presidency! Vince McMahon has sold his soul to the Devil!
Bobby Heenan: Hah! Hello, Mr. President!
McMahon welcomes DiBiase with wide open arms, as the two embrace in a hug. They then shake hands, both smiling from ear to ear. Vince pats Ted on the back, and he takes his place behind the podium. He straightens his tie and clears his throat, as he is about to speak. Just as he opens his mouth, a roar of boos comes from the back of the room, as the fans are in an uproar. DiBiase just laughs, and he pulls out a handful of hundred dollar bills. He slings the stack of money into the crowd, and they scramble to get a bill. DiBiase then finally speaks.
Ted DiBiase: Vince... thank you. Such a lovely introduction. I, Ted DiBiase, am indeed the NEW President of the World Wrestling Federation. And behind my financial backing and seat in Titan Towers... the WWF will be back on top. No other wrestling company will be able to stand up to us. Every talent out there that means something... they will flock to us. They will beg us for contracts. That fool Jack Tunney hadn't the slightest clue as to what he was doing. But there are no worries. Your savior is here. And together, McMahon and I will rule the wrestling world! Hahahahahaha!
DiBiase nods at Vince, as the crowd continues to watch on. He then spots an eager reporter in the front of the room, who seems to be questioning this entire decision. Ted is about to walk away from the podium, but he is interrupted, as the daring reporter speaks up.
Daring Reporter: Mr. DiBiase! Mr... President.
DiBiase's eyes shoot over to the young reporter, locking eyes with him. A smile rolls across Ted's face, as he steps back behind the podium.
Ted DiBiase: Speak up, kid. Time is money.
Daring Reporter: Mr. DiBiase, what do you plan to do differently than Jack Tunney in order to bring the World Wrestling Federation back to life?
Ted DiBiase: If there's one thing I know, kid... it's money. And that idiot Jack Tunney had no idea what he got into when he took over the Presidency of the WWF. He made his dumb decisions, writing checks that he couldn't cash. But me... there is no number too big for my checkbook. There's nothing that money can't buy, kid. And money is what's going to fix this place. With my money... the WWF will thrive once again. The WWF will once again be the elephant in the room. Next question...
Ted steps back, as reporters hands shoot up. Vince picks a reporter at random, and the man stands up while all the other hands shoot back down.
Reporter: Vince, how can you be sure you can trust Mr. DiBiase with your company, and how will the return of the WWF be handled as far as roster and titles are concerned?
Vince McMahon: Alright, I'll answer your questions if I must. You see, me and Ted here have a lot in common. We're both filthy rich, we both love power, and we both have a passion for the world of professional wrestling. How can I trust Ted DiBiase? Well, to be honest, I don't trust anybody. However, this will not be an issue, because I happen to like Mr. DiBiase, and I will be taking a more hands on approach this time around when it comes to my company. Now as far as the roster goes, well, my doors are open. Any wrestlers who wish to come to the WWF, new talent or old talent, may contact me and we can negotiate a contract. The titles will be vacated and we will announce at a future date how the champions will be decided. Now, any other questions?
At this, every hand flies back into the air. The Million Dollar Man scans the reporters, looking for one that might have a good question for him. He then spots one and points to him. The reporter speaks up, as the room quiets down.
Reporter: Mr. DiBiase... you never could win the big one during your career here. Is this what you have to resort to now to be in the WWF? Buying your way into Presidency?
Ted looks infuriated.
Ted DiBiase: Couldn't win the big one, huh? Couldn't win the big one?!? No more questions. This press conference is over!
DiBiase storms off from the podium, as McMahon follows him.
Gorilla Monsoon: I think that reporter hit a nerve with the Million Dollar Man. He sure didn't take kindly to that question, Brain.
Bobby Heenan: Why should he, Gorilla? That idiot pretty much insulted the man that put this company back in business single-handedly! That little puke better be bowing down to DiBiase for even allowing him to speak in his presence!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, folks, be sure to stay tuned. Monday Night Raw will be returning to the USA Network very soon! For the World Wrestling Federation, I'm Gorilla Monsoon.
Bobby Heenan: Good riddance. I'm tired of sitting amongst these peasants. I'm going to go straight to the green room to talk to McMahon and DiBiase. I'm outta here!
The scene fades to black, as the press conference comes to an end.
As Monday Night Raw returns from commercial, we are taken to the interview set backstage.[/color]
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, there you have it folks, Vince McMahon has teamed up with "The Million Dollar Man" and God only knows what those two have up their sleeves.
Bobby Heenan: Hey, show some respect Gorilla! Without them, you'd be on the unemployment line!
Gorilla Monsoon: What about you?
Bobby Heenan: I'd find work. You don't think my phone is constantly ringing with people begging me to come work for them?
Gorilla Monsoon: No Bobby, I don't. Anyways, let's give it over to Todd Pettengill who is standing by with "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels.
Todd Pettengill is standing, microphone in hand, with the greatest man to ever step foot in the squared circle... "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Shawn fixes his hair, making sure he looks good for his first interview back in the World Wrestling Federation. Todd then clears his throat, as he gets the cue to start...[/b]
Todd Pettengill: Ladies and gentlemen, I am joined by former Intercontinental Champion, and the man known as "The Heartbreak Kid"... Shawn Michaels.
Shawn Michaels: Woah, woah, woah... former Intercontinental Champion? I don't think so, bub. No one ever beat me for MY title, and there's nooooo way I'm letting anyone just take it from me. You got that, Pettengill? Nobody! I've still got my title right here!
Shawn points down to his waist, as rhe camera pans down. There it is... the Intercontinental Championship.
Todd Pettengill: Shawn, I don't think Mr. DiBiase and Mr. McMahon are going to just let you walk back into the WWF as Intercontinental Champion.
Shawn Michaels: You don't think? Listen up, chump! No one cares about what Todd Pettengill thinks! What they care about is seeing me, "The Heartbreak Kid", wearing the Intercontinental Championship around his gorgeous waist. Whether McMahon and DiBiase like it or not... I'm the Intercontinental Champion!
Shawn motions around his waist, as he winks at the camera and blows a kiss to all the women watching on.
Todd Pettengill: Shawn, with the WWF finally back on air, what can we expect from you?
Shawn Michaels: I'll tell you what you can expect, Pettengill! You can expect Shawn Michaels going straight to the top! And as usual... I'll be breaking a lot of hearts on the way up. But no worries, ladies. The Sexy Boy has got some loving for aaaaaall of you! Haha!
Pettengill rolls his eyes, as Shawn brags about himself.
Shawn Michaels: You see, whether it is Yokozuna or Razor Ramon... nobody can stop "The Heartbreak Kid", nobody! I've got a match to get ready for Pettengill. It's against some... some chump named Steve Austin. Never even heard of the guy before. So this... this interview... is over!
Shawn shoves the mic out of his face, as he walks off the interview set. Pettengill, shakes his head, as he sends it back to ringside to Monsoon and Heenan.
Gorilla Monsoon: Well it sounds like Shawn is as confident as ever, Brain.
Bobby Heenan: Why shouldn't he be? He's the greatest athlete this industry has ever seen, Gorilla, and he's the Intercontinental Champion!
Gorilla Monsoon: I think Vince McMahon and Ted DiBiase would say otherwise. Well folks, let's take it down to ringside with Howard Finkel.
"Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin
(WWF Debut: Singles Match!)
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Howard Finkel: First... making his way to the ring... from Victoria, Texas... weighing in at 252 lbs... he is "The Texas Rattlesnake"... Steeeeve Austin!
The sound of shattering glass bursts through the Manhattan Center, as the crowd looks on. A bald headed man dressed in a black vest, black trunks, and black boots steps out from in-between the giant Raw letters. He throws his fists up, before making his way down the aisle and walking up the steps. Austin ducks under the top rope and enters the ring. He walks around it, as he pulls off his vest and takes his place in the corner.
Howard Finkel: And his opponent... from San Antonio, Texas... weighing in at 225 lbs... "The Heartbreak Kid"... Shaaaaawn Michaels!
"Ahh, ahh, ahh, Shaaaaawn!" The crowd erupts in a mixture of cheers and boos, as "Sexy Boy" blares through the arena. Strutting his stuff, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels makes his way out from behind the letters. He raises one hand in the air, as he walks down the aisle. Shawn walks up the steps and ducks under the top rope, entering the ring. He holds his hands out, as he turns around a full 360 degrees. As he steps into the center of the ring, he bends one leg at the knee, as he stretches the other one all the way out. Shawn flexes his muscles, showing them off in his trademark pose. As he stands up, he walks over to his corner. He pulls off his sunglasses and earrings. He then winks at the camera, as he unzips his jacket, revealing the Intercontinental Championship. Shawn takes the title off and dances with it in his hands before laying it down and pulling off both his jacket and his chaps. As Shawn is set for action, the referee calls for the bell.
"Ding, ding, ding!"
Austin rolls his eyes at Shawn's pretty boy antics, and both men inch closer to each other, talking smack. Austin mocks Shawn, who shoves the Rattlesnake back! Austin charges at Shawn, driving him back into the corner! Austin unleashes on him, hammering him with a series of body blows!
Bobby Heenan: Woah! Looks like this Austin guy isn't afraid to take it to the Heartbreak Kid, Gorilla!
Gorilla Monsoon: Austin is indeed one tough son of a gun!
The referee warns Austin, as he backs away, letting up on Michaels. Shawn charges out of the corner, pummeling Austin to the ground! He hammers away, nailing him with vicious quick punches right to the head!
Bobby Heenan: Michaels doesn't like being disrespected, Gorilla! He's not gonna let some rookie make a mockery of him!
Gorilla Monsoon: Michaels is a hot head, and if he isn't careful, Austin might pick up a big time debut victory over him!
Michaels gets up, but not for long. He drops a series of elbows right into Austin's chest,finally laying over on him for the cover.
"One! Two! Austin kicks out!"
Michaels slaps the mat and pulls Austin up to his feet. He whips him into the ropes. Austin rebounds... dropkick right to the mouth! Austin goes down, as Michaels heads to the corner. HBK is climbing the turnbuckles. He looks down at Austin and leaps off the top turnbuckle... Big Elbow Drop! NO! Austin rolls out of the way! Michaels is in serious pain! Austin stomps away at Michaels, taking advantage of the mistake. Austin pulls Michaels up. He scoops him up, but Michaels slips away. He lifts him up... Slingshot Suplex! Michaels covers him!
"One! Two! Th-Austin gets the shoulder up!"
Gorilla Monsoon: Impressive kickout there, Bobby.
Bobby Heenan: Come on, Michaels! Put this chump down!
Shawn slaps the mat and gets to his feet. He pulls Austin up, but he gets kicked in the gut... Stunner! .....NO! Michaels shoves him off. Austin turns around... SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Michaels lays over him for the cover...
"One! Two! Three!"
Howard Finkel: Here is your winner... "The Heartbreak Kid"... Shaaaaaawn Michaels!
"Sexy Boy" blares through the Manhattan Center once again, as Shawn stands up with an arrogant smirk on his face.
Gorilla Monsoon: What an ending, Brain. Austin went for his Stunner, but Michaels was able to slip out of it and hit the Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere!
Bobby Heenan: Never doubt "The Heartbreak Kid", Gorilla. He can beat the best of 'em. We're looking at a future WWF Champion in Michaels. I'm calling it now!
Gorilla Monsoon: Maybe someday, Bobby.
Michaels grabs the Intercontinental Championship, as he walks over to the ringside area. He snatches a microphone, as a camera gets right in his face.
Shawn Michaels: Cut my music! Razor Ramon... don't think for one second that I didn't hear what you had to say on the Superstar Hotline! You think you're going to come after "The Heartbreak Kid?" Huh? Well, you better stay focused on Jake "The Snake" before you go running that big mouth of yours... chico! "The Heartbreak Kid" is the REAL Intercontinental Champion, Razor. And whether you like it not... you're gonna have to deal with it! No one can take the title from "The Heartbreak Kid!" No one! Now... hit... my... music!
Shawn tosses the mic at Howard Finkel, as his music blares through the Manhattan Center once more. Shawn dances around at ringside, bragging about his victory over Austin, as we fade to commercial break.
Returning from commercial, WWF Monday Night RAW rolls on into the night as excitement is felt in every fan packed into the Manhattan Center. We are soon greeted by the broadcast duo of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon.
Gorilla Monsoon: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Monday Night RAW!
Bobby Heenan: We are back and ready for more of the best action in all of professional wrestling!
Just as Bobby "The Brain" is continuing to talk, a familiar tune fills the arena...
The royal music of the "King of Wrestling", Jerry Lawler, begins to wash over the small center, bringing with it a loud chorus of boos from the live audience.
Bobby Heenan: But this! This is something I'm gonna love! King's Court is back in the WWF! I'm so excited, I can hardly wait to hear what "The King" has to say!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, judging from this reaction... I'd say you're the only one Weasel.
Bobby Heenan: First of all, these humanoids don't know anything about anything! And second, what have I told you about calling me that?
Gorilla Monsoon: But Weasel is your name, isn't it?
Bobby Heenan: You know my name isn't... you know, leave me alone! I'm trying to pay attention to "The King!"
Jerry Lawler has by now entered the ring and stands amongst the royal set of his King's Court, turning to the throne where a microphone has been placed for his use. "The King" flashes a wicked grin that oozes with arrogance, before picking up the microphone and looking out to the fans.
"The King" is greeted by ravenous booing from the audience in attendance, as he stands in the ring awaiting the silence to begin speaking. As time passes the boos seem not to be quieting, which noticeably frustrates Lawler, as he snaps into the microphone.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: If you idiots don't sit down and shut up while I speak, I'll give you all something to boo about!
The volume and intensity of hatred only grows after "The King's" remark. However, rather than grow angry, Lawler simply laughs at the reaction he's garnered, before continuing.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Now usually, I would spend some time looking out to, and speaking with my subjects, but you people are so darn ugly I wouldn't talk to you if you all had paper bags on your heads! So instead...
Once again "The King" is forced to pause as the crowd's boos cut him off abruptly. Lawler realizes after his recent insults that the volume may not decrease, so he begins shouting over the noise.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: So instead, I'll cut right to the chase! Because tonight may be the biggest King's Court in history! We have a shocking announcement from... The one... The only....
Jerry "The King" Lawler: MISTER PERFECT!!!!!
The roof of the Manhattan Center is nearly blown off as the long unheard music of "The Perfect One" begins blaring.
Bobby Heenan: WHAT!?
Gorilla Monsoon: IT CAN'T BE!
After a short time, from behind the letters appears the man himself, known simply as Mr. Perfect. With his curly blonde locks tied back in a ponytail, he is making his way to the ring slowly with a pair of crutches...
Gorilla Monsoon: IT IS! IT'S HIM! MR. PERFECT IS HERE!
Bobby Heenan: This is impossible! Just a few months ago when WWF went out of business, Mr. Perfect had back surgery that he's needed for years! He shouldn't be walking, much less coming to a WWF ring!
Gorilla Monsoon: That's the toughness, Bobby, the resilience of a champion, which is just what Mr. Perfect is and always will be!
Bobby Heenan: Always be a champion? I can't remember the last time he wore gold here in the World Wrestling Federation! He's been a bum ever since I dumped him! As a matter of fact, I bet he's here to announce his retirement!
Gorilla Monsoon: You dumped him? I think you have some selective memory there, Bobby...
As the commentators continue their banter, Mr. Perfect limps his way to the ring, getting assistance from stage hands in entering the ring, and being handed a microphone. Slowly, "The Perfect One's" music fades out as he now stands on crutches before "The King."
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Well Mr.... well, I was going to say Perfect, but it looks like those days are finished. Hahaha! For those of you who didn't know, you're beloved "Perfect One" just a few short months ago underwent major back surgery and... well, I'm sure you're here to do what you should have done a year or so ago when you still had some pride... and retire!
The booing from the audience has reached near deafening proportions at Jerry Lawler's backhanded comments. However, they begin to cheer when they see Mr. Perfect raising his mic to his mouth to respond...
Mr. Perfect: You know what, Jerry... you're right... I flew out here to the Manhattan Center from my beautiful wife, and little boy Joe back in Minnesota... to retire.
Shock and awe are heard from the crowd as Mr. Perfect pauses to gather his thoughts about this blockbuster announcement.
Mr. Perfect: For the last few years, I'm not sure if you people at home have known this or not... but I've been in a lot of pain. My back it turned out... was pretty messed up... so three months ago when the WWF closed its doors, I saw the doctors and... and they say that after this surgery, no man would ever be able to do activities as strenuous as professional wrestling.
Mr. Perfect's eyes look to be watering up as he chokes his way through his announcement. A chant of "please don't go!" causes him to pause and shake his head, refusing to let any tears drop.
Mr. Perfect: So I came out here... to do this the right way, face to face with you people who have supported me through my whole career, good times and bad, whether you cheered me or booed me. I walked out here... and as I heard you people go crazy... I decided that nothing is over until I say its over!
The crowd completely comes unglued at Perfect's last statement! Perfect now wipes his face, gone is a man who's holding back tears, and he is now replaced by a man with blazing fire in his eyes.
Mr. Perfect: Wrestling is my only passion, my lifeblood, my family! And I'm not going to just sit back and listen to some white coat nerd who says no man can recover! Because I'm no ordinary man, I am absolutely perfect! So I don't care if it's six months, or five years from now, I will be back! And I won't retire until you all are referring to me as Mr. Perfect... World Wrestling Federation Champi-
Before he can finish his impassioned speech he is blasted from behind by a large and ominous figure! Perfect lays on the mat clutching at his surgically repaired spine as cameras pan up and focus on the figure who has ambushed the injured Mr. Perfect...
Staring down at the hobbled perfectionist is the intimidating sight of one of the most dominant forces in all of wrestling.
Gorilla Monsoon: WHAT THE!?! IT'S SID JUSTICE! THAT'S SID JUSTICE!
Bobby Heenan: You're darn right it is! Not so perfect now is he!
Gorilla Monsoon: Stop it, Brain! The man just had back surgery!
Bobby Heenan: He had no business in a WWF ring, Gorilla! He was asking for it!
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh please!
Sid looks down at the injured Mr. Perfect, who is trying to help himself up by using the ropes, wearing a crazed, emotionless expression on his face. Jerry Lawler has long since fled the scene leaving Perfect and Sid alone... Sid grabs Perfect by his head, forcing it between his legs and letting out a dominant yell, before hoisting Perfect into the air and planting him spine first on his recently surgically repaired back.
Gorilla Monsoon: OH MY LORD! NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! HOW EVIL CAN ONE MAN BE!!? WHY WOULD SID DO THIS!?!
Bobby Heenan: I love it Monsoon! Pick him up Sid! Do it again! Man, this guy's a psycho! I love it!
Gorilla Monsoon: You're sick!
Perfect is unmoving, his spine most likely now damaged beyond repair. Sid stands over the carnage he's created, beginning to chuckle, before slowly turning into a full on maniacal laugh. Medical staffing rushes to the ring with a stretcher and neck brace for Mr. Perfect. Sid Justice turns to the men, still laughing, as he exits the ring, leaving our show to fade out with an emergency situation in the ring.
Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji vs. British Bulldog
(Singles Match!)
Winner by Simulation: Yokozuna
The cameras cut backstage to Mr. McMahon's office, where he and Ted DiBiase are standing together in the middle of a conversation. Both men have wide smiles on their faces, seemingly holding back laughter.
Vince McMahon: I mean, that yellow bellied bastard Hulk Hogan leads my company into the ground, and he doesn't even have the courage to show himself around here any more! He can't handle being a failure, and you know what else? I think he's scared of Vince McMahon!
Both men begin to laugh maniacally, and Vince walks behind his desk to grab a cloth carrying case from inside a bag. He carries it over to Ted DiBiase, and they both sit down. He begins to pull the object from the case.
Vince McMahon: Ah, the World Wrestling Federation Championship! The most coveted prize in our entire industry. A crown for a king if you will. Now that we are back up and running, it's up to us to "crown" a new champion, but I've been having some trouble lately, Ted. I don't think there is one deserving individual in the entire WWF! I've been waiting for someone to wow me, and I've been nothing but disappointed, and I'm in no rush to crown a new champion.
He looks over to Ted to get his opinion. Ted eyes the World Wrestling Federation Championship, as a sparkle shines in his eyes. He then looks up at McMahon, as he starts to talk.
Ted DiBiase: McMahon... Hulk is too busy taking care of a bunch of brats as Mr. Nanny! Aaahahahahahahahaha!
McMahon slaps DiBiase on his shoulder, as the two of them laugh at the snide remark. DiBiase then looks down, once again locking his eyes on the title.
Ted DiBiase: There's one man, Vince, that deserves that title, and you're looking at him. Hahahaha! Not of those peons deserve to wear the gold around their waist. None of them! But that's not the only gold we've got to find someone to wear. We've got the Intercontinental Championship and World Tag Team Championships, and from I've seen... not a one of them are worth my money. Not a one of them!
DiBiase stops speaking, allowing Vince to make a comment.
Vince McMahon: You know Ted, you may think those other titles are worthless or meaningless, and to someone of your stature and talent, you're right. But to these "peons," these poor sorry excuses for professional wrestlers, none of which are anywhere near deserving of such prestige as the WWF Championship... these lackluster titles are all they've got, all they are capable of, and I dare somebody to prove me wrong. You're right though, Ted, we do have these other titles to decide, and I think I may have an idea. Let's get down to some business, and if we're feeling generous, maybe we'll make an announcement next week on Raw regarding such matters.
Vince and Ted laugh maniacally again as the scene fades out.
We return backstage where Todd Pettengill is standing by with "The Bad Guy" Razor Ramon.
Todd Pettengill: Razor, we are moments away from your matchup with Jake "The Snake" Roberts. After a three month hiatus, how do you feel going into the match? Any worry of any ring rust?
Razor smirks at Pettengill and grabs his hand holding the mic and forces it right up to his face.
Razor Ramon: Hey yo, chico. You think Razor Ramon is going to worry about ring rust? Machismo never gets rusty chico. Jake "The Snake" Roberts, he doesn't have what it takes to step into the ring with "The Bad Guy." I'm going to slap that stupid look right off his face. He might talk about his snake's bite, but tonight, he's going to get a taste of the Razor's Edge! Now, let me move on to "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Shawn...Sexy Boy.
The women in the audience scream.
Razor Ramon: You think you are the Intercontinental Champion? I think you're nothing but a piece of trash! Razor Ramon wears gold around his neck, and soon, he will be wearing the Intercontinental Championship gold around his waist. You want to be the champ Shawn? Well, you gotta go through me, and that just aint happening chico. Jake "The Snake", tonight you are nothing more than an example of what will happen to anyone who gets in my way on my road to the gold. Now Pettengill, say goodnight to "The Bad Guy!"
With that, Razor releases Pettengill's arm and storms off camera.
Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Razor Ramon
(Singles Match!)[/i]
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Howard Finkel: Making his way to the ring... from Stone Mountain, Georgia... weighing in at 249 lbs... Jake... "The Snake"... Roberts!
The camera zooms to the letters atop the stage as Jake "The Snake" appears from behind them, clutching the bag hung over his shoulder containing Damien, his pet snake. The crowd's reaction is mixed, but everybody in the building seems mesmerized while watching Jake methodically walk down to the ring. As he approaches it, he slides Damien's bag under the bottom rope and proceeds to slide in behind it. He has a blank cold stare on his face as he picks the bag back up, releasing Damien in the middle of the ring. The crowd gives a slightly audible gasp at the sight of it. He escorts the snake back into its bag, and lies it in the corner.
Howard Finkel: And his opponent... from Miami, Florida... weighing in at 280 lbs..."The Bad Guy"... Rrrrrrazor Ramoooon
The crowd erupts in a roaring boom of cheers and applause as the contradictory named "Bad Guy" comes out from behind the letters with his arms out to each side, dressed in green trunks and vest, complete with chains of gold dripping from his neck and down his chest, and tooth pick in his mouth. He has a cocky smile on his face as he continues down the ramp. As he approaches the camera, he tells the fans at home what's going to happen to Jake "The Snake" tonight. He climbs onto the apron and through the ropes. He walks into the middle of the ring and begins to stamp his feet and points to himself, followed by his signature pose with his arms extended to each side, showers of gold sparks going off behind him. He walks into the opposite corner and takes off his gold jewelry and vest, and turns to meet Jake Roberts in the middle of the ring. As Jake begins to tactfully stare down his opponent, Razor flicks his toothpick in his face. Jake immediately attacks Razor with rights and lefts.
"Ding, ding, ding!"
Jake continues to pummel Razor towards the ropes. He whips Razor into the ropes and ducks his head, but Razor telegraphs it and greets him with a boot to the face. Jake wobbles back and Razor begins dealing some rights of his own, the final one preceded by a 360 degree spin, which sends Jake to the mat. Razor delivers some boots to Jake's midsection and picks him up. He brings him into the corner and gives him a knife-edge chop that echoes throughout the arena. He delivers a second chop, equally as booming. He grabs Jake's face and begins to talk trash, and slaps him right across the mouth.
Gorilla Monsoon: Razor is showing no respect for Jake "The Snake," Brain. He better take him seriously or he might get bit. This guy's no pushover.
Bobby Heenan: That depends. He's pretty easy to push over after 11 or 12 drinks.
Gorilla Monsoon: Will you stop, Bobby Heenan!
Razor lifts Jake onto the top rope and follows him up there. He locks him in for a superplex, but Jake manages to hold onto the ropes. Jake punches Razor three times in the midsection before pushing him down to the mat. He drops down from the turnbuckle and picks Razor up by the hair. He delivers a knife-edge chop of his own and Razor grabs at his chest.
Gorilla Monsoon: Razor getting a little taste of his own medicine!
Jake whips Razor into the ropes and hits a sleeper hold. Razor begins to go limp as he slowly fades out of consciousness. He drops down to the mat and the ref begins to raise and drop his arm and count.
"One! Two! Thr...No!"
Razor begins to show signs of life as he begins to pump his fist. He starts to get to his feet, the hold still locked on. He delivers a couple of elbows to the midsection and whips Jake into the ropes. He lowers his head but Jake grabs him. DDT! He covers.
"One! Two! Thr...No!"
Gorilla Monsoon: Somehow he managed to kick out after the DDT!
Bobby Heenan: That's why they call him "The Bad Guy", Gorilla. This man is a bad man, and by that I mean he's tough and he's gutsy.
Gorilla Monsoon: That he is, and it's one of the reasons these fans love him!
Jake picks Razor back up and locks him in for another DDT. Right before he can complete the maneuver, Razor shoves him into the corner where the ref is standing, and the ref drops like a sack of potatoes. Jake walks back to Razor, who is now on his feet, and they begin to exchange blows. Jake gets the upper hand and scoops Razor up and slams him down to the mat. As this is going on, "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels runs down the ramp, Intercontinental Championship belt in hand, and he slides into the ring.
Gorilla Monsoon: What is he doing here? This is starting to look bad for Razor Ramon!
Bobby Heenan: You're darn right it is Monsoon! You heard the blatant disrespect before the match! Razor called Shawn a liar and told Shawn he'd have to go through him. What did he expect?
Jake "The Snake" glares at Shawn, who instructs him to pick up Razor. Jake obliges, lifting Razor Ramon up again, and grabs hold of his arms from behind, leaving him exposed for Shawn Michaels. Shawn smirks and winds up, crashing forward with the Intercontinental title, but Razor manages to duck out of harm's way, leaving Jake to receive the damaging blow. Shawn gives a look of shock as Razor, on one knee, deals him a low blow. Shawn drops and rolls out of the ring.
Bobby Heenan: Oh no! Somebody check on Shawn!
Gorilla Monsoon: Well, that certainly backfired!
Razor goes for the pin, but there is no ref. He walks over to the fallen referee and forcefully pulls him up to his feet, slapping his face to revive him. The ref slowly comes to and Razor turns back to Jake who has gotten to his feet, but looks to be in a lot of pain. Razor delivers a few punches, and then grabs Jake by the throat and nails him with the chokeslam. He crosses his arms and uncrosses them to signify the end is near. He lifts Jake up and throws his head between his legs, extending his arms out to the side. Razor's Edge! The cover!
"One! Two! Three!"
Howard Finkel: Here is you're winner... "The Bad Guy"...Rrrrrrazor Ramooooon!
Razor's music hits as he celebrates in the ring, still looking as cocky as ever, to the approval of the crowd. The camera fades to commercial.
We return from commercial and we're brought backstage where Jake "The Snake" Roberts is angrily making his way down the hallway, holding his head where the championship belt hit him, and screaming for Shawn Michaels. He throws open door after door, screaming Shawn's name, but to no avail. He turns a corner and enters the first door in the new corridor. He goes out of sight and we hear screaming, followed by a loud crash, and more loud bangs. The disturbance goes on for over a minute, then finally the noise dies down. The cameraman gathers his courage and approaches the door, opening it slowly. Through the door is a parking lot, and Jake "The Snake" lays motionless on the floor, covered in blood, with a steel chair laying next to him. As the camera pans around, we see some broken windshields and dented hoods, but not a single person in sight. We're brought back to ringside.
Gorilla Monsoon: Welcome back to Raw, folks! As you all just saw, Jake "The Snake" Roberts brutally attacked in the parking lot. Nobody but Jake knows who did it, and he's unconscious and I'm being told is being put in an ambulance as we speak!
Bobby Heenan: Well, he got what he deserved going after Shawn like that, but now I don't know if it's safe to walk around here. This is what happens when you come to New York, Gorilla.
Gorilla Monsoon: Don't worry Brain, I'm sure if anyone were to attack you, you'd manage to "weasel" out of it.
Bobby Heenan: Hey!
Gorilla Monsoon: What a night it has been thus far, but we've got one more match left for tonight's show!
Bobby Heenan: That's right, and it's one I've been waiting for all night long, Gorilla! But I don't know if I want to stick around for it. Bret Hart is one of the best, but The Undertaker... he...he just gives me the creeps, Gorilla.
Gorilla Monsoon: That's right, folks! We've got The Undertaker taking on "The Hitman" in just a few minutes, but first we're going to take you to Paul Bearer's Funeral Parlor!
An eerie fog lingers over the scene, as a haunting tune begins to play.
The camera moves through the fog, passing headstone after headstone. It then rises, as it looks on at a pale white, creepy face. The face is that of Paul Bearer... the father of The Undertaker. The man who is responsible for the ghoul.
Paul Bearer: Weeeeeeelcooooome to my funeral parlor! Ohhhhh, yeeeees!
The camera looks around, as the set of the Funeral Parlor is revealed to us through the fog. A casket rests on an embalming table, closed. Bearer walks over to the casket, placing his ear up to it, as he softly whispers to it. Bearer then looks up, smiling at the camera. He then speaks again.
Paul Bearer: The World Wrestling Federation has risen. With the almighty dollar, Ted DiBiase has brought the Federation back to life. But ooooooh, that is not the only thing that has risen. No, no, nooooo! You see, the last time you people saw me, you witnessed my resurrection. My return to the WWF! The power of the urn uplifted The Undertaker to defeat the Giant Gonzalez! And tonight, I bring you... my Uuuuuundeeeeerrrrtaaaaaakeeeeeeer!!!
The lights begin to flicker, as the casket on the embalming table flies open. He sits up, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The Undertaker has risen.
Paul Bearer: Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeees! My Undertaker! You have awoken!
The camera moves around, getting a shot straight on of Undertaker. Paul Bearer lifts the urn up, and Undertaker's eyes return to normal. He then climbs out of the casket, wiping dirt from his body.
Paul Bearer: Your quest begins soon, my son. And no one... can stop you, my Undertaker. You will become the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and nooooo one will deny your power. The World Wrestling Federation lockerroom will all...
Undertaker stops Bearer from speaking. He then gets right in the camera, his eyes once again rolling back.
The Undertaker: Rest... In... Peace.
The lights begin to flicker once again, as that same old haunting tune begins to play. Bearer begins to laugh wickedly, as the Funeral Parlor fades to black.
Bobby Heenan: I... I think I need a new pair of underwear, Gorilla. I'm just terrified now. I'm gonna have nightmares!
Gorilla Monsoon: Would you calm down, Brain? I'm going to ask Paul Bearer if he can lock you inside that casket if you don't calm down!
Main Event:
The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Bret "Hitman" Hart w/ Jimmy Hart
(Singles Match!)[/i]
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Howard Finkel: Making his way to the ring, accompanied by "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart... from Calgary, Alberta Canada...weighing in at 234 lbs... Bret "The Hitman" Hart!
Bobby Heenan: It's the music of the Hitman, Gorilla.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh no, it's Jimmy Hart, with that blasted megaphone of his!
Jimmy Hart is on stage looking at the crowd in attendence, as he sounds the megaphone off with a siren noise.
Jimmy Hart shouts out using the megaphone.
Jimmy Hart: That's right daddy, get on your feet and see the best.
Bret hart comes out through the Raw entrance, under flashing pink lights. He motions to the crowd with his arms looking happy to be on the Raw show tonight.
Bret adjusts the sunglasses, flicks back his hair, then continues to the ring with Jimmy leading the way.
Bobby Heenan: Hitman sure looks confident tonight.
Gorilla Monsoon: How any one could be confident knowing The Undertaker is your opponent is beyond me, Brain.
Jimmy Hart: "The Dead Man" has nothing on "The Hitman."
Gorilla Monsoon: Do we have to let him use that? I wanna ram it down his throat.
Jimmy sits on the middle rope, Bret Hart steps into the ring, he now has mic in hand, and he waits for his music to stop.
Bret Hart: Undertaker... you think you scare me? Do you even think at all? Controlled by an urn by that pasty lump of fat, Paul Bearer. I'm my own man... a hitman. The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. That's not a catchphrase... it's the God given truth. But you wouldn't know God, would you phenom? Seeing as you're forsaken... thrown back to the world, like some curse. All the magic and illusions wont cut it. I'm the most technical wrestler in the world. That means scientific enough to know you're human somewhere in that cold exterior. I can beat any man, on any given day, and you are just that... just a man. I am more than A man... I am THE MAN... Bret "The HIT MAN" Hart!
Jimmy Hart pats Bret on the shoulders, then shouts out on his mega phone to the camera man.
Jimmy Hart: Best there is....was and will be.
Bret Hart climbs up the turnbuckles and looks down at the crowd with a smug grin.
Winner by Simulation: Undertaker
The entire arena goes dark except for a purple hue in the ring, giving it just enough light to make it visible. Paul Bearer enters the ring, raising the urn with a wide smile and a look of pride and admiration on his face, as the Undertaker stares blankly back at him. Paul begins to praise the Dead Man and then raises the urn again, which causes the Undertaker to turn and exit the ring. As he makes to head back up the ramp, the lights in the arena come back on, revealing Vince McMahon and Ted DiBiase standing at the top of the ramp, the WWF Championship held tightly in Vince's hands. They seem to be having an internal discussion, each making comments to the other. The Undertaker stares at them, and he and Vince lock eyes. Vince makes a face of being mildly impressed and gives a slight nod at the Dead Man. Behind the Undertaker, still in the ring, Paul Bearer raises the urn. The Undertaker drops to one knee, whips back his hair, and raises an arm out towards the two men, towards the World Wrestling Federation Championship.
Paul Bearer: Oooooooohhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeessssssssss!
The scene fades to black.
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